week 6 in alien world

week 6. month of february. 

i am clueless

ok. lets start somewhere.  

hie. how are you? feeling good? how was your january? everything ok? good good. wonderful.

my january has been filled with lots of nothingness, money-wasting-ness, exercising-ness and more nothingness. yes. i think that pretty much sums up my january. oh. not to mention family-ness, tension-with-car-ness and...yeah. that's about it. 

i ended my january by stuffing my face, despite playing tennis before that and cycling to the near by pasar malam.

*sigh*

so much for dieting.

*pfft!*

 

this was not intentional ok? my rummate came back with lots of food and they ate while i went out for tennis. so the balance was for me to finish. imagine half of that, despite me already being half full, along with two other containers filled with 2-3 pieces of chicken each. all for me. nice kan? i have wonderful rummates (i'm not complaining. rezeki ok?)

today i started my day early. i decided to go and look for work in the faculty. i'm very afraid of being cut off from the fellowship list. 

yes. 

i want/need the money! 

(i have my needs ok? pfft!) 

i had a number of thoughts regarding my work. i might be tutoring, lab assisting, paper marking or whatever related to the faculty (i'm suppose to contribute something, at the very least, through out my contract). i was thinking randomly about what clothes i should wear? (favorite topic and favorite excuse to go shopping.ngehehe), do i even look like someone who would assist these kids? they might outsmart me (not denying the fact that they are smarter then me, its THEIR field of study!). what would they call me? miss? cik?

 

cik shazlin 

OMG!  

sooo weird 

random images running through my head.

*gosh*

what if i ran into my students while they are having a discussion, while i am having dinner, or something? 

miss miss, (or cik cik, whatever lah), how do we go about doing this? or maybe not so proper la. more like, cane nak buat ni? kitorg tak faham la..

right.

 i have wild imaginations. it gets very very random. i day dream alot. yes. 

i wonder if i would make a good tutor? i mean, i've taught my friends all through out my degree years. i find it fun and calming and somewhat uplifting to share my knowledge with my peers. to see them be able to answer the questions during exam while i struggle to remember what i was crapping to them. yeah.

it makes me happy to see others succeed. 

really?

now i'm starting to think back on my own words.

*sigh*

anyways, i went to the faculty and there wasn't anything for me to do. i searched for the lady in charge of giving us work, and she wasn't around either. i suppose she's busy with handling the labs and all. this semester, the labs are pretty much occupied especially with the FYP students.

yes. 

i remember those days (macam la lama sangat. padahal baru last year), where we were struggling to do our fyp. haha. fyp. i did something, and no. i would not wanna share it with you. lets just say, its one of my dark secrets, which only few living souls know about. hahahaha! 

and so. i walked around aimlessly today.

(btw, i walked to the faculty today. despite it being a hot sunny morning, i was super super hyped up to face the day ahead. but it all blew up in my face as i came back empty handed. as usual. sigh)

i looked like a lost puppy. i should have a sign that says,

"wanna adopt me? i won't bite!" 

hahahaha. ok. inside joke. nevermind. 

when i got back to college, i found this cat sleeping at the corner. so so cute i just HAD to snap its picture. while doing so, it woke up to the sound of the cleaner mopping the floor. instead, it was pissed at me! making that hissing cat sound when they wanna get into a fight or something. i was like, shuu shuuu. go back to sleep. i wanna take your picture. dododoii~ ... pastu die pon macam calm down a bit. pastu i nak snap another picture, it hissed at me again. as if i was the one who disturbed its sleep. pfft!!

tapi dapat gak snap.pfft!

i met up with my supervisor in the evening. she was very unorganized, with her daughter and all. we went through my grant and a few things. this is where clueless no.2 comes in. after meeting up with her, i felt like i don't know what i'm suppose to do. clueless. i know what i'm doing (my research), but i don't know how to start or how to complete it or how how how? i don't wanna look like i'm always in need of her guidance but this is a whole new topic for me and i'm in a whole new place and i'm at this alone. ALONE.   

i feel so... (insert word).

its ok. i know i can do it. i just need to breath for a while and organize things.

time management.

yeah. i can do this. 

pray for me ok? :)

xoxo